It can be scary sometimes to move abroad and find yourself surrounded by strangers, most importantly, living with them under one roof and having multiple interactions. It felt kind of crazy to me when I just got admitted to the University of Tartu and started thinking of finding accommodation. However, as time passed, so did the cold atmosphere in the dorm, and it changed to a more friendly one. But a little bit more about it later.
In this blog, I will introduce you to the real life of having roommates and offer some tips to make your life in the dorm a little bit easier.
When I got to Tartu at the end of August, I started to move into the dormitory, it was such a mess…, and that’s when I met two of my roommates. It is crucial to mention that I am an introverted person, and it is hard for me to make new acquaintances that quickly. And just the thought of living with completely new people to me was scary. Nevertheless, they instantly started on a very friendly note and even helped me with moving in. Once I was in the room, cleaning and putting things in, my then roommate from Slovakia talked with me the whole time, and we got to know each other a bit more.
I also had an opportunity to become closer to my next-door neighbours. They turned out to be from the Science and Technology program, and at first I thought that we wouldn’t find a common ground for discussions, but as time passed by, we got to know each other more, hang out and cook together. Fun fact, these girls actually made me think of applying for the International Student Ambassador position, and that is how we all got to work together.
My roomies and I at the University of Tartu Museum. Photo credit: Natavan Aliyeva
The first semester was hard academically and socially. It is the time when you form opinions about people, make new connections, and even become friends. I was also stuck with all these assignments (you should be ready, there will be a lot to handle, but you got this, don’t worry!), and my roomies and I decided to make boba one day and just talk while drinking it. That is when it all started, a great friendship and joint activities!
I would like to tell about our hiking tour now. So, once I saw an ad on Facebook about an AEGEE hiking tour around the forest near the town of Valga and I instantly knew I would go there. But going alone wouldn’t be as interesting and emotionally supportive due to a 19 km road and freezy weather with the enormous amount of snow (yeah, it’s Estonia, the weather can hit -30 degrees Celsius) as with my friends. I suggested the trip to Nat and Jane (our ambassadors and my neighbours) to maybe go with me, as I knew they liked adventurous stuff. And it was settled, we went there! We almost went crazy, I personally was falling almost on every step because of the extreme weather. I believe everyone was frustrated by seeing this pitiful image of me in the snow.
AEGEE hiking tour around the Valga forest.
Still, we all liked the experience and memories we got from it, and I believe it drew us even closer together. Because, as is said around the world, “a friend in need is a friend indeed” (and I was definitely in need, no wonder why.)
We made a dessert with Kataifi and strawberries. Although, who am I kidding, Nat did it, we just chatted.
However, not everything is so rainbowy as it might seem to be, because every relationship needs understanding. This is one tip on the way to having harmony in your dorm. If you have anything to say, maybe some complaints, then it is better to face it as it comes to the surface. Suppressing your feelings will only make you angrier and worsen the tension between each other.
Any complaint can be handled well if delivered with the right words, from hairs in the sink to the noise of loud music. So, try to be open, because no one in this situation has to suffer. And it is never rude to let your roommates know if something is making you uncomfortable. Personally, I felt that such words might harm people and their feelings; however, over time, you come to understand that open communication is healthy and not aimed at hurting anyone.
Excursion to the Synlab Meditsiinilabor, unfortunately, it was only in Estonian, no translation. Photo credit: Natavan Aliyeva
Sharing responsibilities is quite an important thing to discuss at the beginning. To express some expectations on our life together, and so on. In our case, we do not necessarily talk about responsibilities, but we put a sticker on the fridge, which is totally fine if you are not a talkative person. Anyways, it certainly has to be an open thing to say.
You are not necessarily going to be best friends, or sometimes you can just keep it professional. It certainly depends on the type of person you are. But in any case, you should respect personal space, know the boundaries, and be polite. That’s all it takes for a sense of peace in your safe space, a.k.a. dorm.
Unless otherwise noted, images are author’s own.
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